By: Chanelle Green
Sue, a mother of 3, worries about whether her youngest son will live to see tomorrow. Her reality is seated in a world of addiction. Taking it day-by-day, her love for her son keeps her motivated to support him through tough times, even when it hurts her the most.
Eric is the youngest of 3 brothers who are all relatively close in age. Growing up, he always felt different. Unlike his brothers, Eric struggled in elementary school having issues with reading, writing and math. Noticing a pattern of poor grades and an inability to grasp the concepts he was learning, Sue got Eric help. He was evaluated and diagnosed with a perceptual learning disability which is the inability to receive and process information correctly. “This was extremely impactful and frustrating for Eric,” Sue stated. “He lost a lot of his self-esteem and would constantly compare himself to his brothers and other children in his class,” she said.
He began to see a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with depression and subsequently developed social anxiety. By the time he reached middle school, Eric began experimenting with alcohol. Feeling like an outcast, he would drink to cope with the stressors of school and his inability to excel like his peers. “We had a few episodes where I was afraid of his behaviors, and we had to call the police to intervene,” she explained.
Eric is not alone. In fact, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 50% of individuals living with mental illness experience an onset by age 14, 75% by the age of 24. The numbers are staggering; like Eric, children living with mental illness can be impacted tremendously, impairing their ability to function at home, school or in the community in a healthy way.
As a teenager, Eric went to rehab for alcoholism. Considered “troubled”, Eric was sent to an alternative school where he was a part of a program called Project Trust, a self-contained, affective-based, educational program for at-risk students aimed to help students with their educational needs, as well as modify social skills and behaviors.
Things started to look promising for Eric. Through Project Trust, Eric was able to graduate high school. He moved out on his own, met his girlfriend and started a family. He successfully created a lucrative landscaping business and was thriving as a family man and young entrepreneur. “It was interesting watching him grow up and face challenges throughout his entire school career to then graduate and build a business from the ground up,” Sue stated.
After 6 years of managing his mental health and immersing himself in his business, Eric slowly started to lose control of his life. Once Eric’s business really picked up, he moved his family out of town and things began to go downhill. Once again, he was faced was negative thoughts of himself. He started drinking again. Unable to maintain both his substance use and his landscaping business Eric stopped working. His relationship with his girlfriend became increasingly difficult, and in addition to alcohol, Eric started using heroin.
Sue stumbled upon a NJ Reach commercial, which featured the number to the NJ Connect for Recovery warm line. She called. “NJ Connect was extremely helpful in providing me the information I needed to get Eric some help. They linked me to the Interim Managing Entity (IME), which connected me to the appropriate treatment facilities based on my son’s health insurance.” Sue stated.
Eric, who is now back home, has been to several detox facilities as well as rehab and has not made it past day 4 in his recovery. “One of the biggest problems I noticed and what I’ve seen brought up by others who are in a similar situation is that there is very little attention given to mental health when dealing with substance use disorder.
Sue calls the NJ Connect for Recovery call line weekly, mainly for counseling. “I make sure if I don’t hear from her, I reach out and call her to see if she and Eric are okay,” said Nancy, NJ Connect for Recovery Peer and Call Center Representative. Sue stated, “It’s an invaluable service. I share it with everyone, including the townhall meetings I attend. You can call the line and talk to someone with lived experience as often as needed.”
Eric is currently in treatment receiving methadone to help curb his cravings for heroin. “Every day I worry I’ll get the call that Eric is dead,” Sue stated. “But that doesn’t stop me from trying. My advice: there’s no science behind this, there’s no right or wrong. Just do your best. The more you reach out for help, the more hopeful you become. You can’t do it alone.”
